How to Make the Holidays Magical This Year!

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The holidays are upon us, and I don't know about you, but it can be especially tricky to make every single person happy ... including yourself! 

You might be co-parenting for the first time, trying to navigate who goes where, and when. If you want my two cents on co-parenting, go here.

Or, your ex might be acting a fool and you're doing some damage control.

Maybe this is your first "single mom" holiday season, or maybe it's the first one when the kids will be with their dad for one or all of the "big days."

Rich, Skinny, Successful, Happy ... Single Mom? Yes!


For all of the single moms who spend a lot of their time "not feeling it" (and by "it", I mean great, fantastic, fabulous), I wrote a blog about creating a new story. You can read it here.

Well, fast-forward to the present, and what I'm observing is a whole lot of story-telling:

  • I can't date, because there are no good men.
  • I can't get in shape, because there's not enough time.
  • I can't make ends meet, I don't want to neglect my kids by working extra hours or going back to school.
  • I can't start a business, or make on succeed, because that would be self-indulgent.
Ladies, ladies, ladies ... bullshit.

The #1 Action You Must Take as a Single Mom

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Immediately following becoming a single mom, there is one key action you must take in order to set yourself for single mom success. But it's not what you might think. It's certainly not to dive right into another relationship because you're lonely. You don't need to pretend everything is a-okay, even though it isn't. It's not turning yourself inside-out to overcompensate to your kids for the divorce or break-up. It's not even learn how to get along with your ex, maybe not just yet.

The number one action you must take is to work on yourself. Your self-confidence and self-esteem will inform and influence how happy you feel as you navigate through the challenging initial years that follow, and long into the future. 

Cool Facts & Stats About Single Moms {& Dads!} & Their Kids, Pt. 2

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There is misinformation, many wrong assumptions, and flat-out incorrect stereotypes about single moms, single dads, and the kids they are raising … even today, in 2014.

Nearly three out of ten families with children today are headed by a single parent. That makes this group one of the largest population segments in the United States. Listen up, advertisers, movie makers and television producers: single parents are the majority!

Most single parents are still moms. In fact, 82.2% of custodial single parents today are moms. As time marches on, single parenting is on the rise even as teenage pregnancy declines. As women decide not to wait {for the right time or the right man} to have children, many choose to bare or adopt children because they can financially support and raise them.

But, men are the fastest growing category of single parents. I wasn’t surprised at this development, especially since writing The Successful Single Dad book and starting this blog.

If you’re picturing a single mom collecting checks from their mailbox, surrounded by kids on her front porch, think again. The vast majority of single parents are gainfully employed. Eight out of ten single moms are employed, and nine out of ten single dads are employed. The vast majority of these parents receive no government assistance. That’s right, self-supporting and raising great kids. Any questions?

You are NOT at the Mercy of Your Ex


It may feel like, as a single mom, you have to rely on your baby daddy for all kinds of support, monetary and otherwise. Recently, someone asked me how I would recommend dealing with a difficult ex. My answer: make him inconsequential.

When someone has you by the short hairs, and they know it, they can abuse their perceived power. He knows you need that child support money, so he withholds it for a few extra days or just doesn't pay you at all. He knows you need him to pick up the kids on time so you can get to work, so he shows up late on purpose. He knows you want to be the main mother figure in your kids lives, so he inserts his "girlfriend of the week" into his visitation time.

Single mom, you are NOT at the mercy of your ex. If you feel like you are and want to make the shift to feeling like you're not, keep reading.