I heard from, and met, many newly single moms who were rushing to get their divorce documents signed and filed by the end of the year. Which means that the beginning of the year marks their first year as newly single, single moms. I think this calls for hugs all around.
So how to manage -- maximize? -- what might be the toughest and also perhaps the best year of your life? I had a lot to say about being a single mom in here, but more years have passed and I've since met many, many (many!) single moms (and dads) and there are some things I suggest you do right now to make the most of your new situation.
First, breathe. It will be okay, I promise. The changes you've instigated, or that have occurred against your will and better judgment, are for your highest and best good. Little did I know that what felt like the end of the world held within it the seeds of my greatest happinesses (is that a word? If it isn't, it should be). So right now, take a deep, slow breath and know that all is well.
Second, feel. Don't let your anger, frustration, sadness, or any other emotion that doesn't feel good stay bottled up. Find constructive ways to release how pissed off or even homicidal you feel. Channel that energy into being a great mom, finding your purpose, and loving yourself.
Third, surround yourself. Find people who make you feel amazing and unstoppable, and hang out with them. Stalk them if you must. Get in their energy field until you literally catch their positive energy and it becomes your own. Eliminate or seriously limit contact with anyone who complains, bitches, moans, gossips, discusses or hints at anything less than positivity. You can't afford the luxury of a negative thought, and when you treat your minutes like you treat your dollars, you won't waste them on marinating in bull**** or hanging out with the "wrong" people, anymore than you'd light fifty bucks on fire to watch it burn because you needed some amusement.
Finally, when you're ready, create a vision of what you want your life to become, who you want to become. I've rarely heard anyone say they wish they'd stayed married (they usually say they wish they'd gotten divorced sooner), they just wish they'd gotten to the good part faster. Well, today sister, you are well on your way to the good part. :)
Happy New Year ... and welcome to your new life! Cheers to you!
The Successful Single Mom is the only book series for single moms written in a positive, can-do voice, from the coaching perspective, by an executive coach who was also a single mom. These books provide a road map for creating the life, career, meals, relationships, bank balance, and health you want, starting right now, today! Find out where you can buy them here.
Honorée Corder has dedicated her life to being a positive force for good. She writes personal and professional growth and development books, and The Successful Single Mom book series. As an executive coach and corporate trainer, she turns service providers into rainmakers, average producers into rock-stars, and dreams into reality. For more information on how she can specifically help you or your organization, click here.